unusual complaint

When I arrived to the bus stop this evening, there was a group of 4 teenage girls waiting for the bus and complaining about the cold. It was indeed a little cooler today than it has been in a while, so I can understand their complaints even though I didn't particularly approve of their rather ineloquent way of putting it (further proof that I'm aging).

The bus arrived shortly after and we boarded. They continued to talk amongst themselves until we arrived at the next stop - a good 500 yards away. They then alighted and went on their way.

Why, I ask myself, should someone complain about waiting for a bus for as long as it would have taken them to just walk to the next stop? If they had walked, perhaps they also would have warmed up a little.

adsense

Here's a thought: If you have a google-ads enabled website designed to mock another, you'll probably find that you are advertising your victim.

priority

Those of you that have travelled on the european cheapo airline easyjet will be well aware that they operate a strict priority boarding system. At least that's what they tell you.

This evening I flew with easyjet from Munich to Basel and I was in boarding group B yet I was the 12th person on the fully booked plane. Incidentally, B meant not that I was in the 2nd boarding group, but the 4th. First are the people that pay extra to board early, second are parents with small children (a rule that seems to be open to interpretation given the teenagers that board with their parents under this scheme), third are A, and fourth B etc.

So how come I was 12th on the plane? On this particular journey the boarding did indeed proceed by priority, except we weren't boarding the plane. We boarded a bus that took us to the plane. Muppets.

koala stomach and hippo bile

If it's true that you eat with your eyes, tonight I would have gone hungry. It's called schlachtschüssel and you don't want it. I had actually ordered the filet of lamb, which sounded lovely, but I was told that I was too late and it was the evening menu only. Since I was famished, I just couldn't be bothered choosing so I settled on the first thing that I saw. Perhaps the fact that it translates to "slaughter bowl" should have hinted to me that a random choice might not have been appropriate, after all if you choose randomly from a german menu you have a 20% chance of it being disgusting. However, as I randomly dropped my finger onto the evening menu I dismissed the odds with the thought that a surprise would be interesting. Interesting it was.

As I sliced into it, it purged itself onto my plate. Sometimes when I'm a passenger in a car, I get a little paranoid - it's a control thing mainly, and as I gather fairly common amoungst drivers. When I feel like that, I console myself with the fact that no matter how bad a driver they are, most people spend most of their driving time not crashing, so the odds of it happening while I'm in the car with them is slim. When I looked at my plate I had to console myself with the fact that I hadn't seen anyone keel over and die since I sat down.

The saving grace of this evening's food however was the fact that I didn't pay for it - it'll be expensed. At least I tell myself that it's a saving grace - the fact is that if someone had come up to me and offered for me to not eat it if I paid, I would have taken them up on it.

Why did I? I don't actually know - perhaps some sick pride.

even if you are a frequent flyer..

When you fly, the latest craze seems to be to start the safety announcement with a suggestion that even though you've heard this a million times before, please listen because we want you to enjoy the sound of our voices as much as we do. Upon landing at my destination this morning however it seems that the lady to my right either wasn't paying attention or really doesn't fly very much. You see I used to make fun of the fact that they told you how to buckle and unbuckle your seatbelt in a plane, but apparently it was too complicated for her and I actually had to offer my professional seatbelt opening services. Since I only live 15 minutes from the airport and even I had to get up at 5am to catch my flight, I'll give her the benefit of doubt - perhaps she had an even more unearthly start than I did.

fish and tits

I was standing next to a fishing tackle shop on Saturday and mindlessly looking at the wares in the window while waiting for a tram. One of the items on sale was a calendar. It was partially covered up by some of the other items in the window - the display itself was fairly deep. What I could see of it revealed a woman with a fishing rod holding up a fish. This really didn't look very unusual - it was the sort of picture you see of people all the time when they're showing off their catch. A few moments later I caught a glimpse of flesh and had a bit of a double take. I looked back at the calendar and adjusted my view so that I could see around the boxes that were masking it and sure enough, the woman was naked. The nudity itself was very much the sort you would see in a car mechanic's shop, but the utter mediocrity of her looks and the fact that she was showing off a fish (and clearly the rest of the calendar would whistle to the same tune) did amuse me. I'm actually not sure which creature the intended buyers should be lusting after.

these boots

Yesterday I had planned to walk to work as I have been doing recently, but a tram arrived just as I was crossing the road near my apartment, so I caved and decided to take the lazy man's option.

Since I have been walking recently I decided to time how long it takes me to get to work door to door when I take the tram. It took 20-25 minutes to arrive at work. I had also timed how long it takes me to take the bus recently (which is a much more direct route, albeit with slightly more walking involved). Taking the bus takes almost exactly the same length of time.

I find this numbers a little confusing. The reason is that when I walk to and from work I take a much more roundabout route and it only takes me 30-35 minutes.

Here's some numbers

• Shortest route: 1.8 miles
  
• Bus route: 1/2 mile walk, 1.3 miles bus
  
• Tram route: 2.75 miles, 1/4 mile walk
  
• Walking route: 2 miles
  

Essentially the bus route is about a quarter of a mile shorter than the walk I take, but it still is only 10 minutes quicker. If I were to walk the direct route then if I had to wait any time at all for public transport then it's unlikely to be worth it.

I know I walk quickly, but I still find this quite surprising.

what's the point?

The new year has started, but the idiocy never stopped.

I installed a really nice little "does everything I want it to do and nothing more" cd burner application the other day, but while trying to find a mirror that wasn't quite as slow, I came across this:


(full screenshot after the jump)

If it's not going to be used, surely that begs the question why the hell do you need it?

happy new year.